Sunday, June 22, 2008

Quote of the week

By renormalizing the model's waistline, Maxim Mexico takes a bold socio-political stance in the ongoing battle of the politics of representation, clearly referencing the oppressive reification of male-gaze heteronormative modes of synthesis in a semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Chris Martin, Coldplay frontman, walks out on BBC Radio Interview

Leaves the BBC Radio 4 studio after a journalist asks a question about a song on Coldplay's new album - his reason being "I just don't really like having to talk about it".

So, Chris, having a new album out that week and being in a speech-based radio station's studio may not be the best place to be then, you complete twat.

Monday, June 09, 2008


I went to a garden party on Saturday night and met a guy who was born and bred in a grimy northern industrial town but has strangely developed an American accent. He had the audacity to say he doesn't like hearing regional accents in the UK and despises some so intensely he has to leave the room.

He seemed highly offended when I argued that variety is the spice of life - it's not the accent but the words themselves which are what is being communicated, he was missing out by being so clouded by the accent, and the very fact that he himself had such a ridiculous accent seemed to make the whole conversation preposterous.

I think if every English speaking nation in the world had the same accent, it would be very boring indeed.

Friday, June 06, 2008

An Artist

A man who works with his hands is a labourer
A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman
But a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Black or mixed race?

Everyone's going on about the possibility of the first black president.

He's not black! One of his parents is white, so he's mixed race!

Are the media really so stoooopid?

The answer you're looking for is:


And it's hilarious how the BBC pronounce his name: Bahrrrraaahhhrrk. Bloody southerners.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

French Market Lift Music Speakers

When I was last in France, I visited a town that was having its weekly market day.

I noticed that on all the streets where there were market stalls, there were outdoor speakers on the corners of buildings playing 'lift music' to the crowds of people.

I thought it was quite surreal.

Monday, June 02, 2008

And another week goes past

We went out for a meal with a group of neighbours on Friday. It's the second time we've been, but it turned out to be 'an audience with' one gabby neighbour who simply didn't realise how she wasn't letting anyone else have a word in edgeways and ultimately how completely dull and stultifyingly boring she was. Stories about someone's wedding none of us have ever met. Anecdotes that lasted 20 minutes for little reward. It's the last time we'll be going. I felt really bad because I talked my mum into saying yes to going this time so that we didn't appear anti-social (we are recluses anyway). But it makes you really appreciate the quiet time you have at home!

I didn't feel to good when I woke up for work on Saturday. I left the bacon sandwich on the bed to go to the bathroom, and when I returned found my dog had managed to part the bread and eat the bacon content! He's a bacon buttie burglar!