Thursday, August 30, 2007

Celebrity Endorsements can Backfire

Hotel Bannatyne.

I see what a miserable and rude bastard he is on Dragon's Den and would rather sleep in my car if Hotel Bannatyne was the last hotel in town with a room. Or ever visit his gyms. I cried in one of his gym's car parks once though.

I don't like Ian Wright so have now stopped buying Kellogg's products because he's on the adverts.


I don't like Ainsley Harriott so have stopped buying Fairy branded products.

Reg Vardy

I don't like the way he's brainwashing school kids in his academies into 'creationist' beliefs only.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Ungrateful buggers!

"A demonstration has been held in south- east Afghanistan accusing US troops of insulting Islam after they distributed footballs bearing the name of Allah."

To me, this is just ungrateful. They don't deserve those bloody footballs.

AND why aren't they at work - I don't have time to go to demonstrations.

A dose of national service, that's what they need.

Birthday money

It's expensive to get along with co-workers.

At the moment, everyone seems to be either leaving or having their birthday.

I'm lucky if I come home with more money than I went with -- after wages.

It might be worth falling out with people to save money.

I had to jog to my car to avoid 'chipping in' this evening.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Stop it for little Maddy

"The father of missing four-year-old Madeleine McCann has asked the media to end the constant speculation about his daughter's whereabouts.

He said there had been "huge amounts written with no substance" and that it was not necessary to "bombard people on a daily basis" with Madeleine's image. "

Oh OK - so, employing a publicity manager was maybe not the best idea then?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Death to the dog

The neighbour with the dog doesn't seem overly concerned or apologetic that it bit my leg and attacked my dog.

So I've reported it to the police.

One more incident and it's going down. PUT DOWN.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Attacked by a dog

Since my last post here, I have been attacked by my neigbour's Alsatian/German shepherd dog.

I was walking out of my drive to take my own dog for a walk, about 3 times smaller than the neigbour's dog, when it appeared and started biting. I was hitting it and shouting to get it to stop, but in the end scooped up my dog and held him above my head, whilst this alsation sunk its teeth into my leg. The neigbour ran out and pulled it off me.

So my dog has wounds in his back leg, and I have wounds in my right leg.

I also have a guilty neighbour who is presumably quite worried and concerned.

Wind chimes are shit

Why the fuck do people have them?

My neighbour has them. It is very windy today. They are out. All I can hear is their fucking wind chimes.

They are getting on my tits!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Un-announced visits

I hate it when people visit my house unannounced. I'm usually right in the middle or something or involved in work that I've psyched myself up into doing after I've put it off for too long and 'in the zone'. Then they come around and expect my attention for hours and I have to stop whatever I'm doing to entertain them. Just because they have nothing to do doesn't mean I don't.

Two friends had started doing this. They expect me to go out for lunch with them every week. Then they started inviting another person along who I hardly know and who is very talkative - i.e. it's like 'an audience with' where I simply sit and listen to this person. So I started saying I was too busy to go to lunch.

The conversations with these two friends became increasingly venomous about co-workers who I actually get on well with.

I had lunch with one of these 'hated' people last week, instead of the two friends. They are now making a point to not talk to me because they say they are hurt that I don't have time for them but do have time for this other person to have lunch with.

They 'stopped talking to me' at work, and we now just pass pleasantries, nothing more.

The side-effect is that they don't visit me unannounced anymore.

Needless to say, I had the last laugh!

Better than Harry Potter?

I reckon I could write a series of books that would match the popularity of Harry Potter.

I just don't have time to.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Needless to say, I had the last laugh

They asked me to do a negative book review yesterday.
They reckon it will increase the sale of the book.
I could pick any title.
I requested the koran.

Managed to get out of doing THAT review!!!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Vatican covering Gerry Adams' tracks?

Wikipedia indicates that Vatican computers were used to remove content from a page about the leader of the Irish republican party Sinn Fein, Gerry Adams.

The edit removed links to newspaper stories written in 2006 that alleged that Mr Adams' fingerprints and handprints were found on a car used during a double murder in 1971.

The section, titled "Fresh murder question raised" is no longer available through the online encyclopaedia.


Think on when you're donating to Vatty's coffers!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Iain Lee's Shindiggery

Iain Lee's podcast, Shindiggery, is an interesting move.

Rather than a continuation of his LBC radio show, it is Iain recording it at home (with no callers). His first edition with Barry from Watford, was saved by Barry - Iain didn't seem to join in with Barry as much as he does on the radio (which is almost always hilarious).

The second one, however, was disappointing. Agent Chris, producer of his LBC show, interviews Iain. Iain is in what I would describe as 'not in the mood' and rather aggressively grumpy. I know it's free, but if I was him I would have recorded another to put out. It seems to damage the 'Iain Lee' brand, which is presumbaly not why he's doing the whole 'free' podcast thing (it will be to appear on the iTunes chart and get more work).

See Martin Kelner for how to do it! (but shorter).
Or just listen to his LBC show when he's on form.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

James O'Brien on LBC

As a DAB listener to LBC, I find it odd that they repeatedly play a clip of James O'Brien saying how you could buy 4 houses in the north for £136,000, as if we're somehow backward because average house prices aren't £300k like in London.

As only people outside of London hear these trails (instead of the London travel bulletin) it's seems an odd choice of clip. Indeed, one that makes you deliberatly not use his sponsor, Gotomypc. Oh dear.

In my mind, this is tantamount to racism.

Ricky Gervais career in jeopardy

He said no-one booed him when he did the wanker dance to pad for time at the concert for Diana.

He's wrong.

I booed him, and called him a talentless, arrogant c**t.

But I was at home where he obviously couldn't hear me.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

World of Colour

I've just received my colour laser printer. It's brilliant. I daren't print too much because I think it will cost me a fortune. And because I've only had black & white lasers for the last 4 years, every document and logo is in black and white, so I'm colourising my stationery!

Believe it or not, it's actually cheaper to throw the whole printer away than replace 3 of the 4 toner cartridges.

Superb quality - I would recommend ColorREY colour laser paper, which I've actually been using for years with inkjets and B&W lasers because it's 90gsm, brilliant white and lovely and smooth.

Saturday, August 04, 2007


I bought a 300Watt, 15 inch amplified speaker system today. I love it. It's so loud. I've been testing it with my SM57 mic, doing Bernard Manning impressions including the excellent "knock at the door" sound effect. I think I can understand why people want to perform, when you feel the amplified bass of your own voice booming around. Luckily, I'm detached. I tested it with my 80s radio mic, and it was ok.

I sent off loads of invoices today. I hope people pay them. I've been a bit late with some - I don't really like doing them so have to psyche myself up.

I also tested a new hazer, which was also superb and very clever (lots of flashing lights and functions to change). £575 - and I've got 6 of 'em to sell!

I have to go to a party tomorrow night. I'm dreading it. It's someone's from work, and there's 200 of their friends going. People from work are going, except my close friends who are both on holiday so I'm not sure who I can hang there with. Urgh. I hate parties. I hate not being in control.

My colour laser printer is on its way to me now. That was quick. And cheap! I remember when they used to cost as much as new cars - now they cost less car tax. Or summat.

Wish me luck.