Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Stop that barking dog!

I think my neighbours don't give their dog enough excercise. It barks a lot at people and noises. So I bought an ultrasonic bark stopper thing and have it hanging out of my window pointing at it. When it barks, I switch it on and it makes a loud noise only dogs hear. The dog stops barking. Sadly, on the first day it fell off the windowsill and to the ground. I hope it still works.

The dog only barked once today, but it had been on a weekend away with its owners, so is probably tired (which I think is the key to a non-barking dog).

Clinical Trial Radio Adverts

There are these radio adverts for clinical trials that go

" are you a healthy or asthmatic male or female?"

So, I query what other options are there if you are:

asthmatic or non-asthmatic - that means EVERYONE because you either are, or you aren't

male or female - I suppose pre-op transsexuals mean that this is valid?


£89 bin collection?

I was just thinking today, as I watched the bin men shaking their head because there was some extra cardboard that wouldn't fit in the wheelie bin that they had to - god forbid - pick up, that I pay my council £89 a month for them to collect my bins.

I do not use any other service. I'm not in education, thankfully never go to hospital, need the police or fire service, or claim benefits (although I don't think that's a council thing).

I suppose I use the roads.

Err...that's it though.

£89 a month. Tsk.

More eBay Rudeness

I was bidding on a microphone on eBay. I would have bid it up to my max of 150 but to start with I was placing a bids to outbid another bidder.

One evening the seller emails me to say "Do you have any clue how to bid?".

I am grateful to him for emailing me before the auction ended, because I then knew that he was a twat and I would not want to give any money to him. So I cancelled my bids. His ID was dealbargins, which also proved he can't spell. Tawt.

Anyway, it only went for 64 so more fool him. Another fun run-in with the idiots of eBay!

Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

VAT's rubbish!

Yes, VAT is.

I have a VAT enquiry, so I call HM Revenue & Customs helpline. After 2 minutes of waffle about redialling if you want to claim something about being disables, "you are being connected" and then "you have dialled an incorrect number" then I get cut off!

I never actually got to speak to anyone.

I sometimes wonder if living in England is on a par with living in a developing country.

No money Noel?

It's interesting all this news about Noel Edmonds' aviation business going into receivership. All over a helicopter. Although it was dormant since 1999. I wonder about dormant limited companies. If you were someone who 'lived on the edge' and was prone to being sued or going bust or whatever, you could have a dormant limited company which you put all your money into, but the company does not trade so is 'untouchable'. So if you ever got sued, your money would be safely away in that company.

Anyway, it's weird about Noel. I'm presuming he's pretty loaded as an individual, but I'd always thought his business empire was pretty intriguing. He had his helicopters, I think some broadcasting facility, maybe a production company that did his House Party, some video conferencing company (face2face?) which probably didn't do too well after Skype took off, and the weird quad bike thing that he was on Richard & Judy about.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007



I'm a Hostroute customer - in fact, this very site is hosted by them.

I'm not a particularly happy one though, because whichever country I choose to have my hosting accounts located, they always put some other customer on the same server whose account totally overloads the server, and it seems it's always up to me to inform them that the server I'm on is currently dead.

It's frustrating, as it's happened on the US account I had last year, and now is happening almost daily on the UK one.

Look at the screen grab above. It shows that this server was overloaded by nearly 5000%.

MySpace is poo

I am not keen on myspace because it's:

a) owned by Rupert Murdoch
b) very slow to load, sometimes unbearably so
c) autoplay music tracks are often shit
d) full of people who are prolific comment leavers, but invariably cannot spell

High School Musical - Breaking Free (karaoke)

In Polish

Monday, July 23, 2007

Oh dear, it's Sky TV

We got Sky installed today. It's some £79 deal where you get some of the entertainment channels free for 6 months, plus all the freeview ones, but nothing to pay ever again.

I haven't had Sky for a year until today. I'd forgotten:

a) how many adverts there are on all the channels all the time, all at the same time
b) how many crap channels there are
c) how many asian channels with awfully overmodulated sound there are
d) how many music channels full of black rappers surrounded by writhing semi-naked black women made to look like prostitutes there are

Who knows what will happen in 6 months. I'm going to assume no world wars, although that's not up to me, just the religious people. All I know is we won't be subscribing...

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Arse Holes

Here's what I need to get off my chest this week:

Jimmy Joseph of Woodland Trading in Qatar owes me money he promised he would pay me and hasn't. Be warned anyone dealing with Jimmy Joseph or his brother, Babu Joseph of Woodland Trading of Doha Qatar. He is essentially a liar and a fucking pain in the arse.

I sent a machine to a customer in Florida. My supplier, weeks later, tells me that their shipper has been trying to contact my customer without success. They have a totally wrong phone number. If my customer doesn't contact the shipping agent in the USA within 3 days, they send the machine back to me at my cost. I hurridly call my customer who has no idea what's going on, and has been contacted by a company whose name does not match anyones we know of. The USA shipping agent has changed its trading name, which has confused everyone. I call them today and get told by 8 different voices 'just hold for a second'. 4 minutes later, they have no idea what I'm talking about.

I called my friend Jason the other night. I loaned him some money and I'm rather hoping he'll pay me back soon. His mother answered the phone. She sounded dazed, and when she realised it was me, was polite and asked how I was doing. She said she'd get him to call me back. I asked how the weather was down there, and in mid-sentence, she'd put the phone down on me. I know people don't say goodbye on the telephone on TV and in films because it's boring, but it real life it feels rather like the person you're talking to has no interest in what you're saying directly to them

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Michael Jackson

You forget how good a performer he is - and more notably how creative music videos were back then...

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Garden of Death

After my surprise that so many tadpoles were still happily swimming around in my pond, today brought tradegy. At least 50 seem to have died overnight, gone grey and are floating on the surface. Poor sods.

So I buy a lawn strimmer, construct it, and start strimming the long grass around the pond. I find two frogs. One of which my dog grabbed in his mouth, then spat it out, then it jumped into the pond. Another one I shaperoned into the pond. They'll use the cover of darkness to escape tonight.

Then I see the dog sniffing around under the trees. I look closely, and see a baby blackbird chick with few feathers lying down. Breathing, but head down. I put the dog in the house, then investigate and see another chick on the ground. This one has more feathers and is looking around. I think the parents are still feeding them. It's the third lot of chicks in the same nest this year.

Anyway, it's like a zoo round here sometimes.

Offended by Mario Party 8?!

Asda emailed me this today:

"We're sorry that your order for Mario Party 8 has not yet been sent. Unfortunately we have been advised to temporarily withdraw the sale of this item. This is due to a Manufacturer (Nintendo) production error which has resulted in a very small percentage of games issued in the UK potentially containing language that may be considered offensive."

I would find it more fun to have something that may be considered offensive!

Just send me the pissing game!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Great Moments in Presidential Speeches


I wouldn't have said I was someone who knew a lot of people. Indeed, my circle of friends is pretty small compared to many.

Yet 3 people I know have moved to Australia. This is quite a large number when compared to the total number of friends that I have.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Old friends

Just recently, I've met a number of old school chums, or they've emailed me by searching for their name and finding my website. But I'm not sure whether it's me or what but they say let's meet up at Christmas when I'm in the region, but ultimately, we never do!

Shoes I've had since I was 15

Adidas running ones X
Globe Occy Pro X
DC USA blue ones X
Globe Occy Pro 2 X
Nike Cortez X
Vans X
Nike Shox TL2 X
(all above either binned or donated to charity if hardly worn)

Puma Speedcat (brown and yellow) - as worn by Charlie from Busted, but quite rare

LaCoste Carnaby - mis-shaped around the toe quite quickly. Now has drips of wood stain on them from me painting my garden gate

K Swiss with the slidey side colours - very comfy, but they became quite smelly quickly, and I am not a person who has smelly feet so I'm a bit miffed by this

Nike Air Force 82 - digs into the bottom of my shin a bit at the front, but not bad

Signs on vans

Someone tried to sell me a personalised car registration number the other day.

I don't think anyone pays attention to even sign written vans. No-one cares.

If I see personalised reg numbers, I have nothing but contempt for the posers in the car.

I didn't buy it because I don't even know what my current reg number is - it doesn't really affect my life, it would have cost more than my car itself, and for the reason above. No-one cares.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Work and social

A couple of young girls at work confided in me that a male co-worker had been feeling their bottoms and on one occasion, their breasts. Concerned, I asked them if they wanted me to say anything to anyone higher up the ladder. They did, so I did. I named the name. Management were surprised. I learned on Saturday that management had spoken to the girls, who had both said he'd stopped doing it and that they weren't bothered about it any more, and also the culprit, who said he did it because everyone else was touchy-feely with those girls anyway that he thought it was alright.

So I come across to the management now as an over-sensitive arse-hole. I'm not that bothered - I work there part time. I've made an effort with the guy because I sensed he didn't like me. We got on pretty well today. I think. Recently, the alternate weekend shifts with the burly Irish manager and drug fuelled "poacher-turned-game-keeper" supervisor are getting difficult to bear. I've put in two weeks holiday so I can avoid some fucking Harry Potter launch party. I hate that wizard twat.

I went to a friend's barbecue on Saturday night. It's his birthday or something. I don't think he'd thought it through at all. There was twice as many people there than the house could hold, and 3 distinct groups. Us from work, his mosher indie emo friends, and his girlfriend's work colleagues. Lots of awkward moments because no-one really made an effort to mingle. While I was feeling my tired legs after standing up for 9 hours, I realised why I didn't want to be there. I hate not being in control. I had to stay there because I'd given a friend a lift and needed to give him a lift back. I was not in control. I laughed a lot at people's anecdotes from work, but ultimately didn't say much. I wasn't drinking either.

I'm going to see a famous comedian who used to present Big Brother's Big Mouth on Thursday. I'm going with a quiet guy from work who I've never been out with socially before. I thought we'd go for a meal beforehand, as he'd bought the tickets. I hope the conversation flows.

There's a Czech girl at work who is frustrated. She wants to start her own business selling modern furniture that was once old furniture that she has modernised in an arty way. But in my eyes she's getting it all the wrong way round. She wants to set up a business, buy all the tools, fabrics, etc. then buy the furniture to start work on. I thought it would be best if she bought the furniture first, see how she got on with working on it, then find out if she could actually sell it, i.e. if there was a market for it first, before renting a workshop, etc. She can't even afford a £79 piece because most of her wages goes on paying off a new BMW Z3 which she can't even drive! She's getting a provisional licence, but can you imagine the insurance for it!?!? I feel like I'm preaching to people, which I stop myself from doing, but if I could just tell people what they're doing so wrong in their lives it may help them. No wonder people get stuck in a rut. She should get a little car. Poser!

My pond is now a pond of death. Dead tadpoles lie on their side at the surface. Others are eating them. Some are dying whilst eating other dead tadpoles. Not many tadpoles are growing legs. This after the amazing feeding frenzies of only a month ago. I blame the green water!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Nothing new

I don't know what to blog anymore. Maybe nothing's getting on my nerves as much as usual. Which is a good thing!

I just spent ages clearing out my Amazon shopping basket. I had items on there which I added in 2004! Over 50 items, now down to 17 I'd like to keep an eye on. Also deleted about 6 credit cards and 5 addresses I'm no longer at. It was quite cathartic.

Hotel Chocolat seem to have sold my email address, so I'll have to close that account down. Hotter shoes seem to have done the same with my mum's too.

Starlight Express - AC DC Electra

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