Sunday, January 30, 2005

A disgruntled Letterman. Would you let this man into your home? Not with those socks!

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

Dame Edna Everage

His/her Neighbourhood Watch programme was funny, and so was his/her chat show too. The theme tune, smoke machine half-way up the stairs on the huge set, live orchestra - you just don't get that on the TV these days. <fills pipe>

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Weird phone calls from Americans

Even though I'm registered on the Telephone Preference Service, I have started receiving automated phone calls from American robot women telling me I've won something and press the 9 key.

An even more strange one was a real American guy who spouted off how some shares in a company were going to go through the roof because of something or other, then asking me "You know how important this factor is to share dealing don't you?". When I replied saying I have no idea what the bloody hell you're going on about, he apologised and hung up. Obviously some very dodgy company trying to hype up the value of their share price by telephoning random people and pretending (after they've given a hot tip!) to have got through to the wrong person. Oh no! What if I were to capitalise on this insider knowledge and buy some of these shares, as they're obviously hot shit!

Yeah right, pull the other one - it has a news ticker on it.

Surely unsolicited phone calls are illegal?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

2004 TV Moments

Hosted by Woss, they proceeded to show the "Bitty" sketch from Little Britain at 9.02pm, which was wholly cut from Little Britain when it was on BBC 1, then at 9.12pm they announce that the show may now contain adult material!

Fined for eating an apple at the wheel

If Northumberland Police are going to fine people for eating apples at the wheel (then when they challenge the £30 fine, get the helicopter, plane and patrol car to follow her at a cost of £10,000) then they should fine people even more for smoking and lighting cigarettes at the wheel, for surely that is far more dangerous.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Capital Disney

Why do Capital Disney edit the word 'bitch' out of Busted's "Crash and burn", and that song with Andre 3000 yet to play Blazin' Squad's "We just be dreamin'" with the lyric, "We got girls, weed smoke in the air again"?

Have you heard any more songs with edited words? Let us know!

Adrian Bodenham tech opping UK Radio Aid

Good to see Ade in the Capital studio behind the desk for Davina, Chris Evans et al. Someone who was more obsessed with domain names than me! Albeit five years ago.

Friday, January 21, 2005

UK braces for black Monday 24th

A tutor at Cardiff University has calculated that - for the UK at least - next Monday, 24 January will mark a zenith of misery for the country as semi-sucicidal Brits descend into a black mire of depression and despair, the BBC reports.

The causes are all too familiar to long-suffering citizens of the rain-lashed United Kingdom: crap weather, personal debt on a developing-world scale, post-Xmas blues and a general apathy-inducing malaise.

That, at least, is according to Cliff Arnalls who has developed a formula - 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA - which is able to pinpoint the worst day of the year.

Factors included in the calculation are:

W: Weather
D: Debt
d: Money due in January pay
T: Time since Christmas
Q: Time since failed quit attempt
M: General motivational levels
NA: The need to take action
Arnalls noted that "any energy from the holiday had worn off by the third week of January", and added: "By Monday, most people will have fallen off the wagon or abandoned the nicotine patches as they fail to keep New Year's resolutions."

That, coupled to a lack of wedge, inertia and inclement weather conspire to make Monday 24 January the absolute pits for Brits.

There is, however, a little ray of sunshine in the Stygian darkness about to descent on our Sceptered Isle: GPs recommend exercise and reading about depression as ways to combat the Black Dog. We agree about the exercise - running to catch a taxi to Heathrow in order to board a plane to Barbados seems the perfect way to beat the January Blues.

French court says Non! to Google's adwords

A French court has ruled that Google's keyword advertising service infringes on the trademark of Le Meridian Hotels, and has ordered the company to stop using the trademark to trigger advertisements for Le Meridian's competitors. The judge ordered Google to pay all court fees, and a €2000 ($2595) fine.

The Nanterre court said that Google must stop linking competitor ads to searches for Le Meridian trademark items and Le Meridian brands. If the company fails to remove offending ad links within 72 hours of being notified of a listing, it will face a daily fine of €150 ($195).

Google relies on adword sales for around 98 per cent of its income. Not all of this is dependent on competitor searches, however. Still, Google says it will appeal the decision, saying: "We will continue to defend against this suit, which we believe is without merit."

The French court's decision at odds with rulings on similar cases in the US. In the case of Geico, a car insurance company, a US court ruled that Google's adword sales were consistent with other comparative advertising practices in the states, and that the practice did not violate federal trademark laws.

However, in Europe, Louis Vuitton has also successfully sued the search company for trademark infringement.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

John McCririck was voted out of the Big Brother house tonight. It will be a lot less entertaining now. Here he is with Uri Geller nearly 9 years ago.

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Monday, January 17, 2005

John McCririck on Celebrity Big Brother

John McCririck along with other housemates Jackie Stallone, Brigitte Neilsen, Kenzie from Blazin Squad and Bez from Happy Mondays have created some of the most surreal clashes of personality I've ever seen (on TV) in Channel 4's Celebrity Big Brother this week, and presumably will do the same next week too!

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Primetime Radio

An absolutely cracking digital station. I don't think I've ever listened to the radio as much in my life before.
 
Pros:
Few adverts
Rare repetition of music
Excellent presenters - Mike Allen, Don Durbridge, Tony Myatt (and go on then, Dave Gilbee!)
 
Cons:
DAB reception bubbly too often (whichever station you listen to)
I'm not a country music fan, so Dave Cash sadly gets the switch
Rod Stewart songs from the Great American Songbook (switch over to Life until they play Kylie)
Adverts that are on are for David Hamilton's CDs, personal injury claim or some government thing to say get a flu jab (Primetime is owned and operated by SAGA and so is aimed at the over 50s)
 
 
I often laugh out loud at some of the things the presenters say. Give them mucho credito - they link every 2 songs minimum which is why the station stands head and shoulders above so many other DAB only channels. But sometimes they paint themselves into a corner in an Alan Partridge way (esp. Gilbee) with often hilarous bumbling consequences. Sheila Tracey's and Sandy Chalmer's enthusiasm is truly infectious. I have Primetime Radio on as soon as I wake up, and switch it off when I'm in bed. That's at least 12 hours listening a day. You feel like you're in a club - there's less than 150,000 listeners nationwide.
 
Sorry Jazz FM, you changed into Real Radio so suddenly I couldn't help but notice the MYERS/SIMONS stamp on my head.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Busted Break-up

I wonder how much money Charlie Simpson (right) got to make him want to leave Busted, truly at the top of their league. Good for James Bourne (jumping) that he wrote so many of the songs, and still co-writes with Tom from McFly.

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Thursday, January 13, 2005

Boots Basics range

Absolutely excellent value cosmetic products from the Boots Basics range.

We're talking two toothbrushes for 28p, a litre of foam bath for 47p, a sizeable tube of toothpaste for 29p and shower gel, shampoo and conditioner all at incredible prices. And in stylish white clinical packaging.

How do they do it? Go Boots!

David Letterman sock update

David Letterman sock update - from one of his pre-Christmas Late Shows, here he is on an electric chopper motorbike giving everyone an eyeful of his inimitable "light grey sock / dark suit / black slip-on loafers with tassles" look.

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Brevi tempore - he crashes.

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Monday, January 10, 2005

No more Sky One continuity announcers!

Thank goodness! No more annoying and loud monologues over the entire credits of programmes, riddled with naff jokes and clichés.

Goodbye and good riddance.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Radio Microphones on TV through the ages

Micron's TX503 were abundant in the 1980s, notably on The Price is Right with Leslie Crowther (and still used now by Bruce Forsythe)

Then in the early - mid 1990s the BBC were using Sennheiser MD 431 II radio mics.

They then switched to Shure Beta SM87s on Top of the Pops, and later, SM58s.

Then came the Sennheiser SKM 5000, which I first saw on Blue Peter in about 1996(?)

Now discerning artists are using the Sennheiser transmitter body with a Neumann capsule head (SKM 5000 N).

This looks rather dangerous. Not only is the gentleman not wearing any safety goggles, but those tusks could skewer him if the elephant was to become unruly.

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Sunday, January 02, 2005

Why people starve

An Afghanistani man was on television recently, with him and his family of one boy being described as living in "extreme poverty" with no job, house or anything.

Some of his closing words were "I'd like to have two or three more children".

Now, you see, if I were him and had no food, no food divided 6 ways is even less when it's divided 3 ways. Logic must escape them.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy New Year to everyone on the Atkins Diet.

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Amazing New Year Fireworks in London

In a display designed by a Frenchman centred around the London Eye ferris wheel. A particularly awesome finale too.

Although if you look at any news websites you wouldn't think that a new year has begun.


 
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